My babe, I have never related to something more in my life. I have a *boyfriend* too and I feel safer than I ever have in my whole life. It’s scary. It’s unfamiliar. But I trust him and he makes me melt. I’m falling through the cracks that were left in my heart from everyone before him. He’s putting me back together with gold :)
I met him at my favorite bar on a Monday night. I thought he was attractive, so I asked to borrow a cigarette to get him to talk to me alone outside. A part of me is really confused as to how all of this worked out, because it’s the same thing I’ve been doing for years. I’ve done a lot of “putting myself out there”, hitting on people and getting rejected, or hitting on people and figuring out they’re not someone I’m compatible with. I think the trick is to just keep doing it over and over again, with the knowledge that it probably won’t work out, but with the hope that it will. I’ve also noticed that of the 5 most significant guys I’ve had a history with, 4 of them I met in person, and the 5th (though a wonderful person) was not emotionally available.
We have very similar careers and interests, and the bar we met at is popular for people who work in that particular industry. I think it’s a good idea to go to bars/coffee shops/take a class that reflects your interests. I would get really frustrated when I’d watch those TikTok videos of girls giving advice on where to meet guys and most of the options would be sports bars. Not that I’d have been opposed to meeting someone who likes sports, but I don’t, so we wouldn’t have a great place to jump off from.
I think another thing that helped me find him was that I got really tired of being lonely and trying to cure that loneliness by letting people treat me in a way that made me feel worthless. I know "love yourself" sounds so deeply unhelpful, and whenever someone would say that to me it felt so rude and dismissive. But honestly, it was only after I put the time into treating myself the way I wanted someone to treat me that I found someone who finally did. I love my boyfriend, but I feel like we get to have the relationship we do because I’m not depending on him for love the way I would have 6 months ago.
yes please because i hate dating apps but every time i take a break from them i feel like I have been left on suspension where i don't meet anyone and nothing ever happens
This is amazing! I started a relationship like 2 weeks ago, and I keep getting nervous about how I don't feel super crazy in love, kicking-my-feet a lot of the time. It's more like I wanna be the obnoxious friend who keeps telling my friends about the cute things he does and what he does and doesn't like. This makes me excited about the future and what it holds. Good luck to you and your *boyfriend*
I have never had a boyfriend and the only experience I have is what I seen trought my friends and honestly I thought that I wouldn’t enjoy a relationship bc every time I see my friends worshipping their boyfriend so now this actually let me see what a relationship can actually look like and I’m sooo relifed
This was such a lovely read! I got choked up. I also have a real boyfriend for the first time and it feels crazy and perfect and strange and I have had so many of these exact thoughts and feelings wow
My babe, I have never related to something more in my life. I have a *boyfriend* too and I feel safer than I ever have in my whole life. It’s scary. It’s unfamiliar. But I trust him and he makes me melt. I’m falling through the cracks that were left in my heart from everyone before him. He’s putting me back together with gold :)
That’s beautiful ❤️
This is very sweet. Thanks for sharing it.
Can we know how you two met? Just for us single girlies that feel a bit (completely) hopeless and aren’t actively “dating”
I met him at my favorite bar on a Monday night. I thought he was attractive, so I asked to borrow a cigarette to get him to talk to me alone outside. A part of me is really confused as to how all of this worked out, because it’s the same thing I’ve been doing for years. I’ve done a lot of “putting myself out there”, hitting on people and getting rejected, or hitting on people and figuring out they’re not someone I’m compatible with. I think the trick is to just keep doing it over and over again, with the knowledge that it probably won’t work out, but with the hope that it will. I’ve also noticed that of the 5 most significant guys I’ve had a history with, 4 of them I met in person, and the 5th (though a wonderful person) was not emotionally available.
We have very similar careers and interests, and the bar we met at is popular for people who work in that particular industry. I think it’s a good idea to go to bars/coffee shops/take a class that reflects your interests. I would get really frustrated when I’d watch those TikTok videos of girls giving advice on where to meet guys and most of the options would be sports bars. Not that I’d have been opposed to meeting someone who likes sports, but I don’t, so we wouldn’t have a great place to jump off from.
I think another thing that helped me find him was that I got really tired of being lonely and trying to cure that loneliness by letting people treat me in a way that made me feel worthless. I know "love yourself" sounds so deeply unhelpful, and whenever someone would say that to me it felt so rude and dismissive. But honestly, it was only after I put the time into treating myself the way I wanted someone to treat me that I found someone who finally did. I love my boyfriend, but I feel like we get to have the relationship we do because I’m not depending on him for love the way I would have 6 months ago.
yes please because i hate dating apps but every time i take a break from them i feel like I have been left on suspension where i don't meet anyone and nothing ever happens
this was a beautiful read, you captured the feelings and the confusion and the acceptance perfectly
This is perfect
Lovely!
This is amazing! I started a relationship like 2 weeks ago, and I keep getting nervous about how I don't feel super crazy in love, kicking-my-feet a lot of the time. It's more like I wanna be the obnoxious friend who keeps telling my friends about the cute things he does and what he does and doesn't like. This makes me excited about the future and what it holds. Good luck to you and your *boyfriend*
i loved this. i love the way you write. and i too have subjected my boyfriend to marnie’s music video.
I’ll just escort myself to the tissues now ❤️
This was beautiful
I have never had a boyfriend and the only experience I have is what I seen trought my friends and honestly I thought that I wouldn’t enjoy a relationship bc every time I see my friends worshipping their boyfriend so now this actually let me see what a relationship can actually look like and I’m sooo relifed
I read this post once a week. it's so perfect
This was such a lovely read! I got choked up. I also have a real boyfriend for the first time and it feels crazy and perfect and strange and I have had so many of these exact thoughts and feelings wow
cutest thing ever
i adore your writing
going through the same thing, havent been in a relationship in like 4 years, its a very strange feeling that is taking some getting used to